Weeding. Sometimes, it seems such a violent act. Sometimes we have to kill our darlings. And for me, that time came in 2011. And it involved my beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
You see, as a Buffy fan I had been on standing order for the book series since forever. But time marches on, shows get cancelled, and new fandoms emerge.
I had read every single one of the Buffy and Angel books on my teen shelves. And together, the series took over a shelf and a half of precious space.
The problem wasn’t even that the books weren’t being read. Angel really wasn’t, but the Buffy books still flew off the shelves. Well, flew off the shelves may be a bit of hyperbole, but they definitely earned their keep.
No, the problem was an entirely different problem that comes with age and use: they were – quite literally – beginning to fall apart. Sometimes it seemed as if when you took the book off the shelf it might just disintegrate into dust like you had staked a vampire right there in the teen area. All that would remain was a pile of dust that used to be the stories on the page.
So one final, fateful, mournful day, I did the unthinkable. I killed my darlings. I took every single last Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel book off of the shelves. I swiped them with the magic wand that would remove them from the collection. I crossed out their barcodes. I stamped them withdrawn. And I shoved them all in a box.
I think that box stayed under my desk for about a month. Maybe I would change my mind. Maybe a patron would ask for them. Maybe I would just take them home.
None of those things happened. They were in such bad shape that the Friends didn’t even want them in their annual book sale, so they were recycled. It seemed such an inglorious end to this thing that I loved so dearly.
By the time I had finally gotten up the courage to this evil seeming deed, the series has stopped publication for a few years. There were no new titles coming in. The show was off TV. This new crop of teens were asking for different vampire books and television series. But it hurt, this thing I had to do. It hurt more than any other weeding moment in my life.
The other day, we hired a new circulation clerk. She came up to me and whispered the name of a book that she thought we should never, ever, ever, weed from our library. “Be sure you check it out,” I told her. She was perplexed. “If you want a book to stay in the library and you are worried it won’t, check it out.” But the truth is, sometimes just circulating isn’t enough.
Sometimes books die horrible deaths. They fall apart. They reach a point where they can’t be glued, taped or mended any more. They go out of print and can’t be re-ordered. They simply die. Even well loved ones.
Even Buffy.
Killing Your Darlings (A reflection on weeding)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: My First Fandom (a guest post by Cindy) (The Sunnydale Project Year 3)
One true thing is that you will never forget your first big fandom. Growing up as the weird kid in my school, I loved Beauty and the Beast and I adored L.J. Smith whose books started me on my love affair with reading. Nothing could and will never compare to my love of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I was obsessed to put it mildly. I had watched it off and on during the first season, but it was the second season that hooked me.
‘Becoming’ Part One and Part Two changed everything for me.
It was hard loving something so much, because I knew people who liked the show, but I knew no one who I could really talk to about it. I would have friends who would listen, but I knew no one really understood it. I had trouble finding my tribe. The internet was blooming and I would go on the Bronze, which was a popular message board for the show on the WB website.I was too young to really post and was scared of interacting. I would read as much fan fiction as I could find, which was a lot, but I will always remember feeling like I was annoying everyone around me about Buffy, but honestly I did not care. Buffy made me happy. I was going to talk about it no matter what.
That is what fandom is too me– strongly loving something so much that you just don’t care about what other people think about the object of your fandom or you. This is one reason why we have so many fandom related activities at my library. It gives the teens a place to express their love of something whether it is Hunger Games, Black Butler, or Dr.Who. I want teens to feel like they have found their place and their tribe. Buffy was and is my home.
About Our Guest Blogger:
Cindy Shutts is a Teen Services Librarian at White Oak Library District. She has guest blogged with us before sharing her Divergent library program and a display she put together for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You can follow her on Twitter @cindysku
More About Fandoms:
Check out the Fanlore Wiki to learn more about Fandom
Huffington Post: A Complete Guide to the Tangled Web of Teen Fandom
Mtv: Decoding Millennials and Fandom
Style Caster: Teenage Fandom in the Age of Twitter (this takes a specific look at online bullying in the world of fandom)
Robin Brenner presents on Fandom and the Teen World (with resource links provided)
Great YA Reads for Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fans, a guest post by author Alexandra Duncan (The Sunnydale Project Year 3)
I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer during my sophomore year of college, a year or so before the show went off the air. The war in Iraq had just started, my family was in the throes of pre-divorce drama, and my long-term boyfriend – now my husband – was living in another city half a state away. It felt like the whole world was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it.
Then along came Buffy. Buffy wasn’t perfect. She cracked jokes when she was supposed to be training to hunt vampires, and sometimes her secret identity got her into trouble with her parents and teachers, not to mention cultists and bloodsucking immortal demons. But Buffy had a purpose. She fought pointy-toothed evil and won, though sometimes at a cost. She had an amazing group of friends, and they fought evil, too, even though most of them didn’t have superpowers. The show could turn on a dime between genuinely creepy (the Gentlemen), hilarious (kitten Poker), and tragic (Buffy’s mom’s death). Sometimes it was all of those things at once. Yet my belief in the universe Joss Whedon created never wavered. Real life is like that too, sometimes. It’s a drama and a comedy tumbled together.
So, if you’re like me, you’re always on the prowl for something that reminds you of Buffyin some way. Maybe it’s the whip-smart dialogue, the bone-deep shudders, the doomed romance, the heartening sight of friends banding together to fight evil, or the sorrow that comes with death and regret. Maybe – if you’re lucky- it’s all of those things.
Today, you’re in luck. I present to you 13 titles that capture some part of the Buffyspirit. The show might be over, but we will read on.
Hold Me Closer, Necromancer by Lish MacBride
The Archived by Victoria Schwab
Briony is haunted by secrets and guilt. She’s a witch, and, after all, witches deserve death in her turn-of-the-century English town of Swampsea. But with the help of Elderic, one of the few locals who doesn’t shun the swamp, and the love her sister Rose, Briony begins to unravel the mystery of her family’s past and her stepmother’s death, something she has always thought was her fault. Rich, quirky writing and a beautifully dark atmosphere set this stand-alone novel apart.
If you were a fan of the way Buffy explored the sometime-blurry line between good and evil, you’ll love this first book in Laini Taylor’s dark fantasy trilogy. Karou has grown up in Prague, spending her days as an art student, but going home to an avuncular, tooth-collecting Chimera named Brimstone each evening. Karou doesn’t know why Brimstone needs human teeth or how she ended up with hamsas tattooed on her palms, but when she starts finding handprints seared into doors all over the city and is nearly killed by a beautiful, deadly angel named Akiva, the mysteries of her everyday life begin to connect with her long-forgotten past.
Ava, a teenage girl living aboard the male-dominated, conservative deep space merchant ship Parastrata, faces betrayal, banishment, and death. Taking her fate into her own hands, she flees to the Gyre, a floating continent of garbage and scrap in the Pacific Ocean.
This is a sweeping and harrowing novel about a girl who can’t read or write or even withstand the forces of gravity. What choices will she make? How will she build a future on an earth ravaged by climate change?
Named by the American Booksellers Association as a Spring 2014 Indies Introduce Pick. (Publisher’s Description)
Starting a Vampire Book Club, a guest post by Carrie (The Sunnydale Project Year 3)

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Image from Muppet Wikia |
They did read some new books, and a few even tackled Dracula. We discussed how vampire myths are tied to the Count on Sesame Street and we had a good time, but it never felt like enough. I was entertaining them, sure, but I wasn’t giving them any characters or ideas they could take away and hold close to bring out when they felt scared or unsure. I wondered about this in my three minutes of free time a week (#teacherlife) and decided I was being unrealistic. Maybe what I wanted to give them didn’t really exist – or maybe it wasn’t even mine to give.

Meet our guest blogger, Carrie Boufard
Bio: I’m a Vermonter in New Zealand who spends my days working with teachers and librarians to build strong reading cultures in schools and get students excited about books. I spend my nights writing middle grade stories and drinking lots of coffee. I’m repped by Carrie Howland, which makes me a very lucky writer indeed. I’m jumping back into social media after a break (there was a whole baby/sleep deprivation thing) and I would love to connect with you on my blog, Twitter, or Goodreads.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Validating Teens, a guest post by author Annie Cardi (The Sunnydale Project Year 3)
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Image from giphy.com |
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Image from Giphy.com |

Driver’s ed and a first crush should be what Alex Winchester is stressed out about in high school – and she is. But what’s really on her mind is her mother. Why is she dressing in Dad’s baggy khaki pants with a silk scarf around her neck? What is she planning when she pores over maps in the middle of the night? When did she stop being Mom and start being Amelia Earhart? Alex tries to keep her budding love life apart from the growing disaster at home as her mother sinks further into her delusions. But there are those nights, when everyone else is asleep, when it’s easier to confide in Amelia than it ever was to Mom. Now, as Amelia’s flight plans become more intense, Alex is increasingly worried that Amelia is planning her final flight – the flight from which she never returns. What could possibly be driving Mom’s delusions, and how far will they take her? (Publisher’s Description)
The Sunnydale Project: Celebrating Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sometimes the girl gets to be the hero, Buffy as a feminist hero by Molly Wetta
Years 1 and 2 at Bookish Comforts
Slayer Saturday: Halloween Party, Buffy Style
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 10+ Years Later: The Joss Factor
Season 4 Episode “Hush” Picture Review
Watching Buffy as an Adult… and Loving It!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Feminism: An Analysis & Discussion, Part 2
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Feminism, Gender & Sexuality: An Analysis & Discussion, Part 1
Buffyisms: Season 3
My Favourite Buffy Episode: Smashed (6×09)
Trivia Tuesday: BtVS Season 2
“Everyone Forgets, Willow, Knowledge is the Ultimate Weapon”: Buffy & Academia
Buffyisms: Season 2
Trivia Tuesday: BtVS Season 1
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Companions: A Buying Guide
Slayer Saturday: Season 1
Fangirl Friday: Art
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Books & Covers
Buffyisms: Season 1
Trivia Tuesday: General Buffy the Vampire Slayer Facts
Review: Blood and Fog (BTVS, Season 6) by Nancy Holder
“Love Makes You Do the Wacky”: How Buffy Slayed My Heart
Welcome to the Hellmouth: The Sunnydale Project Schedule
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Project Pinterest Board
Year 3 at Bookish Comforts
Monday – Welcome, Girls’ Stories: Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s World of Women (Sarah)
Tuesday – Mixed Feelings on Spike’s Character (Bridgette)
Thursday- Teen Girls, Fandoms & Buffy (author Annie Cardi)
Friday – Are You Ready to Be Strong? Buffy & Strength (Justine)
Tuesday – Buffy: Validating Teens (author Annie Cardi)
Friday – Buffy: My First Big Fandom (Cindy)
Take 5: Why I Love Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The Sunnydale Project Year 3)
Buffy: A New Kind of Hero
As someone who reads on the Internet a lot, one of the complaints you’ll read over and over again is the lack of female superheroes. Where IS the Black Widow movie, people ask? Why can’t they get a Superwoman reboot off the ground? Buffy, I would argue, is in fact a superhero. She has special powers. She fights evil. She has to make incredible sacrifices to do it. She tries to keep her identity as the Slayer secret. Etc.
Buffy is also a complex hero. She makes sacrifices, but not always gracefully and sometimes not without complaining about it. She is allow by the writers to mourn the sacrifices – the moments and relationships – that she has to sacrifice in order to keep the world safe.
And the best part is, she gets to do all this with a sense of style. She is strong, she is fierce, but she also likes to go shopping for a great pair of shoes. In order to make her appear as a strong female, the writers don’t force her to give up some of the more simple pleasures of life. Sure you could argue that it’s stereotypical to have a female character who likes clothes and shoes, but the truth is that a lot of women do in fact like to go shopping, they like to wear nice clothes and shoes, they like to accessorize. And a lot of men do as well. I love that the writers were able to present us with a hero that had a fierce edge who wasn’t totally asked to sacrifice the idea of femininity. Buffy is both strong and feminine, whereas a lot of female characters who are written as strong tend to come across as being more what we consider traditionally masculine.
The other great thing about Buffy is that she was also very much a teenager. She whined. She pouted. She was full of angst. She worried about things like dating and prom. Thus much like Harry in the Harry Potter books, she is a hero that is also more developmentally accurate. Even though she wasn’t played by a teen, Buffy the character was very much a developing teen and seeing her balance those struggles against the life of a hero made for some interesting storytelling.
Giles: A New Kind of Librarian
I don’t know how you can watch Buffy and not fall in love with Giles. Sure, Giles had a locked cage with prohibited access to a large number of books, which I am fundamentally opposed to as a librarian. Plus, sometimes students got locked into this cage. Sure, they were deadly and dangerous, sometimes even werewolves, but it seems like a bit much for a library. And the ways in which he taught the Scooby gang their basic research skills is kind of questionable. But he grew a lot as a character over the years. He came to love Buffy and her friends. He began to stand up to the council and the authority and the tradition that they used to try and manipulate the slayer. Giles is by no means an example of a good librarian – were there ever any students besides the Scooby gang even in his library? – but he was a great example of a caring adult and mentor. And he got some truly great lines.
Cordelia: Perhaps the Best Character Arc of All
When we first met Cordelia she was a stereotypically shallow, vapid and quintessential mean girl. A cheerleader even, just to drive the stereotype home. But man that girl had some tremendous character growth over the years on both Buffy and Angel. I can count the number of female characters that have exhibited such tremendous growth on a TV series on one hand sometimes it seems. Certainly Carol from The Walking Dead is another example. But Cordelia went from worrying about her reputation to developing true compassion for others and the state of the world. Sometimes she would still hide it behind the veneer of her clothing, but she still kept showing up at the library to be a part of the fight. I loved Cordelia’s story perhaps more than any other characters. The writers managed to do something remarkable, take this girl that we all loathed and detested and turn her into her own type of hero. Also, check out these fun Cordelia Chase quotes as motivational posters at Buzzfeed.
The Idea of Sacrifice: “She Saved the World. A lot.”
We live in a world that can trap you under its dangerous and false mottos: Look out for number one. You Only Live Once. Live for the Moment.
One of the major themes of Buffy, I would argue, is the value of sacrifice. Every single character is forced to make sacrifices of some kind in order to keep the world safe. Sometimes those sacrifices may seem small, a first date. At other times they are the most costly sacrifices of all: Having, for example, to kill the man you love in order to literally save the entire world. Buffy isn’t just kicking vampire ass and taking names, she is reminding us all that success involves training and practice and commitment, and sometimes sacrifice. Sometimes we are forced to make difficult decisions and the right way is often not the easiest way. Sometimes doing the right thing means having to sacrifice your time, your talents, your comfort. I think the world would be a better place if we were all willing to sacrifice a little more every day to make it so.
Family is More than Blood
One of the running themes through the Joss Whedonverse is the idea that family isn’t just the people you share blood with. Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, Anya, Tara – they all became family to one another. They all failed each other miserably at one point or another, then they chose to forgive and keep being family. As a kid, my parents divorced and we moved around a lot. By the time I graduated high school I had attended 9 different schools. The fact that Buffy could transfer to a new high school and build these friendships for herself was the most life affirming message someone like me could ever hope to see on my television screen.
This past summer, I rewatched all of Buffy with my girls. Well, to be honest, I did skip an episode here and there in the last couple of seasons. I know that there are people who would find this thought appalling. I was once told by one of my Sunday school teen’s parents that I was a bad spiritual leader because I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Some people may look at it and see a show with violence and demons, but I look at it and see an empowering show that features a strong, sympathetic female lead who is able to build for herself in love and commitment a strong family that practices the art of forgiveness and sacrifice. Like all of us, they are imperfect humans trying to figure out how to live this thing we call life, but they offer themselves and others grace time and time again. They are, in fact, really great and realistic examples of what being a good person is all about. And they do it all with some of the best quips imaginable.
Now it’s your turn, are you a Buffy fan? Tell us your reasons in the comments. Also, please feel free to share your favorite characters, moments and more.
There will be new posts everyday here at TLT and at Bookish Comforts as part of The Sunnydale Project. I’ll link to all of the posts to make sure you don’t miss them. Guest bloggers include authors Alexandra Duncan and Annie Cardi, as well as some of my favorite author librarians, readers and Buffy fans. You can join in on the conversation by using the hashtag #SunnydaleProject.
Buffy Guest Posts this week at Bookish Comforts
Monday – Welcome, Girls’ Stories: Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s World of Women (Sarah)
Tuesday – Mixed Feelings on Spike’s Character (Bridgette)
Wednesday – “It’s not noise! It’s music!” Music & BtVS (Rachelia)
Thursday- Teen Girls, Fandoms & Buffy (author Annie Cardi)
Friday – Are You Ready to Be Strong? Buffy & Strength (Justine)
Coming Soon: The Third Sunndaydale Project, celebrating all things Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and you can join!)
We’re doing it again! Going to Sunnydale, that is, and celebrating all things Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And if you like Buffy, you can join us. During the week of October 27th through the 31st, we’re hosting our third Sunnydale Project. Who is we? Rachelia at Bookish Comforts and Teen Librarian Toolbox.
Do you want to write a post and pontificate on all things Buffy and Joss Whedon related? This is your chance. Let us know by the end of September by leaving a comment below with contact information or emailing me directly at kjensenmls at yahoo dot com. You can talk about the show, the characters, the writing, or more. Share great programming and craft related ideas. Or create a list of YA lit titles that you think Buffy fans might want to read. You can post on your blog and we’ll cross post some of them here at TLT and some of them at Bookish Comforts, linking back to your blog as well, of course. If you don’t have a blog don’t worry, you can still participate – we’d be glad to share your post and give you a chance to share your Buffy thoughts.
Oh and look, if you sign up feel free to grab a button. We have buttons!
Sometimes the girl gets to be the hero, Buffy as a feminist hero by Molly Wetta 10 YA Books that Buffy Fans will want to Read Buffy on the page and on the screen, seasons 8 and 9 by Maria Selke Buffy and the Reversal of Halloween, a guest post by Nancy Holder
Slayer Saturday: Halloween Party, Buffy Style
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 10+ Years Later: The Joss Factor
Season 4 Episode “Hush” Picture Review
Watching Buffy as an Adult… and Loving It!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Feminism: An Analysis & Discussion, Part 2
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Feminism, Gender & Sexuality: An Analysis & Discussion, Part 1
Buffyisms: Season 3
My Favourite Buffy Episode: Smashed (6×09)
Trivia Tuesday: BtVS Season 2
“Everyone Forgets, Willow, Knowledge is the Ultimate Weapon”: Buffy & Academia
Buffyisms: Season 2
Trivia Tuesday: BtVS Season 1
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Companions: A Buying Guide
Slayer Saturday: Season 1
Fangirl Friday: Art
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Books & Covers
Buffyisms: Season 1
Trivia Tuesday: General Buffy the Vampire Slayer Facts
Review: Blood and Fog (BTVS, Season 6) by Nancy Holder
“Love Makes You Do the Wacky”: How Buffy Slayed My Heart
Welcome to the Hellmouth: The Sunnydale Project Schedule
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer Project Pinterest Board
This might even require a Buffy re-watch. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
Sunday Reflections: I’m Holding Out for a (Female) Superhero!
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The Tween read each & every comic book yesterday |
Yesterday was Free Comic Book Day and I celebrated – with my Tween daughter – by handing out free comic books at my library. The night before I took her little sister to see the new Spider-Man movie. We’re pretty big superhero fans in this house. In fact, we watch The Avengers movie a couple of times a month. Which is why I can’t help but wish that someone would remember that girls can be a superhero too.
Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Superman, Spider-man . . . they all get their own superhero movies. But female superheroes, they get to be part of a team. Yes, there are female superheroes (ish) in The Avengers movie (my husband argues though that Black Widow is not an Avenger but an agent of Shield). And yes, there are superheroes in the X-men movies. But there are no female led superhero movies. Where is Wonder Woman? Well, it was previously in development but it is now dead, dead, dead and they say it is never going to happen. There is talk that there may be a Black Widow movie, but there is nothing in development right now.
For a brief moment I, the superhero fan, was excited when my friend and fellow librarian Maria Selke tweeted me a picture of an ALA reading incentive campaign with a variety of posters. And then Robin tweeted me, “Psssst, where is Black Widow?” Where IS Black Widow? Or any female superhero. ALA is an organization that prides itself on diversity; it is one of the library’s fundamental rallying cries. And yet here is an entire read campaign that utilized nothing except for white men to promote reading. I mean, I guess there is diversity if you consider the fact that the Hulk does turn green and Thor is quite literally from another planet. That part was sarcasm, for the record. But they could have included Black Widow and The Falcon. And with the new X-men movie coming out, there are a variety of women to choose from there as well.
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ALA Catalog Image Tweeted by Maria Selke @mselke01 |
At the same time, Maria brought a Scholastic reading campaign to my attention. Yep, same problem. In fact, basically the same superheroes.
Another reminder to young girls everywhere from @scholastic that boys matter more & girls can’t be “super” pic.twitter.com/MBCG1XJYSi
— TeenLibrarianToolbox (@TLT16) April 3, 2014
I will say in their defense that after we started Tweeting at Scholastic about our concern about this campaign, they did inform us that they were only given a select few superheroes to choose from and that they would take our concerns to the marketing team. Imagine though what a statement it would have made when given those choices from either Marvel or Disney, who holds the copyright to the Marvel universe, if they had said I’m sorry we can’t work with you under these terms because it is direct contradiction with our core value and commitment to diversity. If more and more of us start making those kinds of statements, perhaps then we can see greater change in the ways women, people of color and other marginalized people groups are represented in the media.
And make no mistake about it, representation does matter. I watched Wonder Woman on TV as a young girl (not that young!) and it is empowering to see a female superhero. It is empowering for little girls to see themselves represented in these positive ways. And yes, I’m totally going to ignore the incredibly sexualized and impractical costume for the moment. Just as it is empowering for children of color to see Falcon in the new Captain America movie.
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The 5-year-old dressed up as Spider-Man |
More importantly, seeing a broader scope of people in the media encourages empathy to those that are different than us. When we continually focus on men as superheroes, white men, it communicates that all others have less worth. This becomes the standard, the ideal. Anything that doesn’t fit into this standard is seen as less than worthy. That’s the message that is communicated to our young, impressionable generation when they continually see such a strong emphasis on one type of person. Representation is one of the most significant tools we can use to help promote kindness, equality, and mutual respect.
I want in my lifetime to take my girls to see a movie that features a female superhero. I want them to walk out of that theater inspired, empowered, and hopeful. And I want fathers to take their sons to a female superhero movie so that their sons will grow up respecting and valuing woman as equal members of the human race. And I want people who are in the position to put together these reading incentive campaigns to remember ALL little kids, every single one of them, and to demand better representation.
It’s easy to look at the success of the Marvel universe and think, we need to tap into that. But true change comes when we take the harder road sometimes and demand more from those who are still failing to understand what the world we live in today looks like. If we care about our future, we need to work on the messages we are sending today. And this is why diversity matters.
The title for this post was inspired by the Bonnie Tyler song Holding Out for a Hero.
In the meantime, I guess we’ll keep watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Although I can’t help but think we’ve gone backwards since that revolutionary show reminded us all that girls could kick butt too.
For more on these topics, see these posts:
“If she can’t see it, she can’t be it”
Beth Revis: I See You, Representation Matters (great post, read it)
Ramp Your Voice: Why Representation Matters in Children’s Books and Media
Actually, just Google “representation matters” for lots of great posts
More Diversity at TLT:
Racial Stereotyping in YA Literature
Race Reflections, Take II
Building Bridges to Literacy for African American Male Youth Summit recap, part 1
Friday Reflections: Talking with Hispanic/Latino Teens about YA Lit
See also the Diversity in YA Tumblr by Cindy Pon and Malinda Lo
More on Gender and Sexuality at TLT:
I’m Just a Girl? Gender issues in YA Lit
Girls Against Girls
Teach Me How to Live: talking with guys about ya lit with Eric Devine
Let’s Hear It for the Boys: Boys and body image
Who Will Save You? Boundaries, Rescue and the Role of Adults in the Lives of Teens
The Curious Case of the Gender Based Assignment
You want to put WHAT in my YA?
Taking a Stand for What You Believe In
Annie on My Mind and Banned Books Week on My Calendar
Queer (a book review)
Top 10: For Annie and Liza (Annie on My Mind)
Sunday Reflections: Watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Fresh Eyes
I am a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. So huge that we have had entire time periods here dedicated to it. So I was very excited when the Tween asked a couple of weeks ago if she could watch Buffy and I decided that yes, she was probably old enough for the first couple of seasons.
It has been interesting to watch it again for the first time through fresh eyes. When Buffy first came on I was in college. my high school days long past. But the Tween is just on the verge of teenagerdom, the high school years yet to come. Sometimes it has been awkward (“Mom, why are they always kissing?”, “Wait, did they just have sex?”), sometimes it has been funny, (“I like Xander, he says funny stuff.”) and sometimes it has led to some great and important dialogue – mainly about standing up for yourself, empowering messages that we don’t give to girls often enough I believe. Girls so often are taught to be demure, to shrink, to smile, to be nice, to be ladylike – with ladylike implying easy to get along with. But there are so many moments in life where standing up for yourself – and what is right – is so important. And I feel that Buffy is helping me show my daughter that she can be strong, powerful, confident, and believe in herself.
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GIF Source Page Here |
Yesterday we came to the end of season two and the beginning of season three. If you don’t know and don’t want to be spoiled, then stop reading because HERE BE SPOILERS aplenty.
For those of you who have seen the show or don’t mind being spoiled, here’s a recap: Angel is now Angelus and he is opening the gates of hell, the only way to stop it once it begins to open is by killing Angel. That’s how season 2 ends, with Buffy being forced to kill the man she loves in order to stop the destruction of the entire world. When we meet her again in season 3, it is in an episode called Anne where Buffy is trying to deal with emotional aftermath of what has happened; she has run away and is living on her own. As a side note, this theme is mirrored in ways in the Doctor Who episode The Snowmen when after suffering great emotional loss, the Doctor runs away, denies who he is, and must be reminded before he again decides to return to helping others.
But back to Buffy . . .
At the end of season 2, in Becoming, Part 2, Angel and Buffy are fighting. Buffy appears in every way to be losing this fight. Then Angel comes at her with a sword and taunts, “No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take that all away and what’s left?” he asks. And she looks him right in the eye and says, “Me.” That’s it, one single word. But such a powerful message. Take everything else away, she has herself.
And when we meet her again in Anne, she seems to have forgotten this message. She is lost, using her middle name, denying her destiny, trying to handle life alone. She runs into a girl she knows from before who is now going by the name Lily. Lily is a lost girl who takes on the identity those around her wish her to take. She has no strong sense of self and, just wanting to find someone to love her and a place to belong, she is willing to become whatever she thinks she needs to become to fill that emptiness in her.
She is soon recruited into what seems at first a religious, self-help themed cult but because this is Buffy they are of course demons. But like cults and other groups of this sort, they gain their power by purposefully preying on the weak and the lost and here we find an amazing example of not only empowerment, but a stark reminder that people in power like to disenfranchise the “other” and strip them of their identity and hope to make them easier to control. These kids are lined up in sack cloth like garments and a demon comes to each one of them and asks, “Who are you?” And each one in turn replies, “No one.” They give this answer in part out of fear, because they know it is the right answer to give to keep themselves alive. But they also give this answer because they have come through the courses of their life to believe it to be true.
But then the demon comes to Buffy/Anne and asks, “Who are you?” And she confidently and defiantly raises her head and says, “I’m Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Then she proceeds to kick some ass because that is what vampire slayers do.
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And then, the head demon guy grabs Lilly and threatens to kill her – to kill them all – if they continue to fight back. There is a pause while everyone is forced to consider, what are we willing to sacrifice for true freedom? But then Lilly answers for herself by pushing the demon and signalling that the revolution must continue. She takes a stand in that moment for herself. She chooses to be brave. She chooses action over inaction, knowing that the costs could be high.
As I watched this with my daughter, I was glad that we got to see this moment of empowerment. And it clearly demonstrates that life – knowing yourself, standing up for yourself – isn’t always easy. Buffy gets lost several times along the way throughout the course of the show. She makes some bad decisions. The people in her life that love her often make bad decisions. But they keep regrouping, both personally and as a family unit. That too is an important message, forgiveness, both of self and others. You don’t have to stay stuck in a moment, you can choose to move forward.
Buffy is not a perfect show, and no show is. For example, Buffy is punished in the worst ways imaginable for deciding to be a sexual creature. And I would argue that in that moment the shows creators also make the mistake of conflating sex with love/happiness. And later in the series Xander is raped by Faith who is inhabiting Buffy’s body and if I am remembering correctly they never call it rape. And I have a really hard time watching episodes after the attempted rape by Spike.
But for its sometimes faults, it is so powerful to have this show which focuses on the life of a female superhero (and yes, she is a superhero) in such realistic and empowering ways. I love those moments on the show when she looked and basically said, no matter what I always have me. And then the next episode came around and reinforced that message. I want my daughter – all daughters really – to know that no matter what, they always have themselves and that is worth everything. I want my daughter to be like Buffy, because when we fail our daughter’s we risk them becoming like the Lilly’s of the world and that puts them in great personal danger. Plus, when we teach our daughters to be Buffy, we might just help be saving the world. A lot.
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